Why am I so??

Many times I wonder the same question and perhaps I have a right answer,but i can say.
sometimes I think that I live in a wrong place but at the same time I am in my place.
I swam from 6 to 19 years old and I learnt to be responsible and apply the discipline to life. I love arts, the theatrical poetry and singing, when I was young I did some recitals. that's to say I live with passion in a country or in a world where the most important thing is to live for the rest and folllow the others.
I am not the rule and I don't think I can be, but I have my particular way to see the world. I don't think as a typical peruvian, i think as I want, because I don't like folowing the mob, I can folow a group, only if my critical and self critical sense want to.
I don't understand girls here, they complain about typical latin.american macho for their infedility and their idea of girl as a being who needs a man to be a woman, but girls find this kind of man and say all the men are the same, however they are other kinds.
I don't undertand men here, they think they are two kinds of women, the virginal girl, who can be a good mother for their kids and sometimes these women will be able to bear all only for the family and the second kind of women is those they can have without limits, as a bitch, they will never have a serious relationship with.
people don't understand I am passionated and I have wishes too, but I know how they move in my minds. I want to wake up with a person, who I can talk to about all and nothing. That 's to say somebody who has something to say.
I hate the superficial world where more important is your car brand or your new clothes, and where you arrive at a meeting 3 hours after without excusing yourself, I can't. The world as my school where people told me with my "presence" I could achieve all I want, even treading  on others.
sorry I don't like it
I don't like being happy over the other's misforture, I don't like being happy if I know what I could have, was obtained  illegaly or "family or friendly help".
I actually enjoy what I have, it is not a lot, but it is mine.
I hate difference of race. social class, etc, human being is different , it is the most wonderful that we have.
I think only a real dialogue can improve my country and the world, but many peple don't want to do it.
Ok, I am idealistic, but great things in the world was born as great ideas. somebody was crazy and can change our world.
I am so, because inside me I am happy as I am, I can suffer but I can resist beacuse I learned to be consequent upon my ideas, however I mistake or it is difficult to go on.